Tuesday, May 17, 2005


I’m sitting at my desk right now and feel a growing urge to either rail on someone or start crying. I hate feeling this way- out of control and threatening some sort of embarrassing emotional display that has no explanation except that I feel like it.
And now I can’t find my wallet.
I am heartily tired of wedding plans and frankly am thinking about eloping (except for the fact that I have bought a wonderfully beautiful perfect dress that I WILL wear!)
Everything about it is stressful and I hate moving and I hate looking for a new place so I gave Jason that responsibility with a list of what I wanted, but now I just want to do it my way because despite growing up in a large family I hate sharing or delegating.
I have a new roommate who is 20 years old and is emotionally unstable because of some issues she is going through (I won’t go into it but she actually has reason to be unstable) which means she is trying to talk to us (Katharine and I) about it and is calling Katharine up and crying which would be funny if you know how much Katharine hates emotional stuff. (We get along great did I mention that?)
This new roommate is taking the discussions- last week Katharine and I had the sisters over for dinner and Stefanie sat in, she has now met with them twice and went to church on Sunday and is meeting with them again tonight as well as going to institute.
We have another roommate who is painting this weekend and moving in on the 1st of June. Have I mentioned that I liked the apt the way it was?
Maybe I’ll be really weird and she will move out- it’s actually kind of a strain to try and normalize myself for the general populous.
My friends Rob and Angie are in the hospital having some test run because she might have preeclampsia and if so they might have to induce her despite the fact that she is only 26 weeks along. Although they might have been exaggerating when they spoke to Shellie.
AND Jason said last night that I could read his journal and now he wants to read mine which isn’t going to happen- and now he is calling me hypocritical which I don’t think is accurate.


Matthew said...

You can still wear the wedding dress if you elope.

I vote that journal swapping shouldn't occur before marraige, and isn't really a given after marraige. Big exception for things that the other person *should* know about you before tying the knot. Even so, that doesn't have to be done with journal swapping.

Even so, not sharing your journal now is unequal, not hypocritical. If you had told him you would, and changed your mind, that would make you hypocritical. According to this post you never said you would share, so failure to do so isn't going back on your word. Therefore, not hypocritical.

Jonas said...

I knew there was a reason I never kept a journal.

Anonymous said...

refer him to your blog or write one...just for him...so when are you supposed to get married?


Terra said...

That's what I thought- I said it might be considered a Double Standard- but not hypocritical. I also failed to mention I didn't actually read his journal he just said I could.

Terra said...


megan said...

yeah, i have been in several relationships where the guy said i could do something just b/c he wanted to do it too. which i think is really unfair