Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Well I ended up rescheduling with my Photography appointment in order to give myself more time to wig out and wonder what I'm getting myself into.
I'm terrified of screwing up someone's wedding photos or that I have grossly over estimated my photography skill- I feel like I should take classes but you know, I've taken quite a few art classes and I still feel amateurish so...

It's not helping that I'm starting to freak out about getting married again. I want to be able to control my life and have everything fit into neat little piles (I'm a big fan of piles). Of course I'm not so dense that I haven't realized that people don't like being put into piles, but I still have this great need for people/places/things to stay where I put them and do things my way (because it's obvioulsy the best way.)

5 comments:

Jonas said...

You just have to jump into these things and hope for the best. I am speaking of course about your photography job. You will probably screw up something along the way so you might as well get the first few jobs done. The more you screw up the more success you will have.

Mrs. K said...

I completely agree! You ARE going to be nervouse, you ARE going to make mistakes. But! You WILL have success, and you WILL learn. I promise you will never make your mark in the world if you keep rescheduling things that intimidate you. Be brave! We've got your back!

(RaRa SisBoomBa!)

-You're very own cheerleader

Mary Ann said...

"I want to be able to control my life and have everything fit into neat little piles."

I think the hardest thing I faced in getting married was this same thing. I didn't like being semi-responsible. I wanted all or nothing, which as you note, is impossible with people. I think the hardest thing is finding a balance between control/responsibility and the lack of it.

How will getting married change that aspect of your life? I mean, Jason has been around and "in a pile" for a while now . . . why would the control element change?

Bonnie said...

Its a big secret but... most of us feel like we're bluffing most of the time. Being a grown-up means being able to fake everyone else out that you're fairly competent.

Terra said...

The other day Jason was helping me clean my apt. and started cleaning my bathroom for me- I didn't like. He was moving my stuff! Actualy I walked back to see what he was doing and he quickly pointed out that he was putting everything right back where he got it from, he was just wiping counters and stuff. I guess I was exuding displeasure over him moving my stuff. I was trying not to though! (I realized it was a dumb way to react.)