Wednesday, January 17, 2007

and continuing....

I was a little cranky when I posted on The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands so I didn't actually finish my review of the book.
I do find it interesting that no one asked me WHY I felt the way I did- which makes an interesting illistrative point on the books statements vs. reality.

Anyway back to my review....

I felt it was idealistic and one dementional....

The idealism assertation is from her theory that if you do A,B and C you will automatically get D for free- this is similar to the theory that as a member of THE church (that just made me giggle - live with it) you can marry any worthy member and be happy with him. On paper it looks good. Find someone who is treating others with love and respect, living the law of moderation in all things and has the same moral base as you and there really shouldn't be anything standing in your way of bliss. The reality is that no one lives these principles 100% of the time.
Well, Christ did but if you belive "the Davinci Code" he's already taken.
This doesn't mean that when Dr. Laura tells us to be nice to our husbands we should ignore her, or when she tells us that we are trying to apply a double standard to the situation so we get our way she is wrong.

I felt the book was one dimensional in it’s view that the woman in the relationship is the one who must change – One of the examples was a woman who called in saying her husband was picking up extra time at work even though they didn’t need the money, she wanted to see him more and was upset. Dr. Laura told her to stuff it because she knew what she was getting into when she married a physical, despite the fact that these were EXTRA hours. On the other hand another caller said that her husband had been complaining that he didn’t get to see her enough because of her work, and extra stuff she did with the kid’s different lessons. In that case Dr. Laura told her she needed to quit something because her husband wanted to spend time with her and how could she even complain that someone who loved her missed her.

I agree with her that it’s ridiculous to complain that a loved one wants to spend time with you and it just doesn’t fit in your schedule but I think it’s ridiculous regardless of gender which was the only difference in the calls.
I do agree that if you’re unhappy about something you should work on changing it and the quickest way is to change yourself- ask yourself “what can I do?”


Jonas said...

Your analysis of the book is correct for someone who does not believe in separation of responsibilities.

An argument could be made that it is more important for a woman to drop activities for her husband if he is the bread winner and vice versa.

Matthew said...


You are not in a position to be issuing decrees on what is correct and what is not.

Jonas said...


I suppose I could amuse myself by posting a picture of someone from my past who I don't really like. Then leave the comments open for family and friends to more directly insult them. Of course I would do this in a private forum where the subject would have no knowledge of it. Of course I am sure that you are aware that in the eyes of God this is an abomination.

Oh and by the way. The user name and password to your "private" blog is published on the internet. The funny thing is, it was one of your own sisters who put it out there. The guy probably knows about the post and saw all the comments. Does that give you nice warm fuzzies?

The thing is I know said subject and talk to him regularly and he has never said one bad thing about anyone in your family.

Your obsession with wittingly putting people down to prop up your own fragile ego is transparent. But it does not make anyone like you any better. It is in fact a bad personality trait. I know you think it's cute though.

I guess since I don't have a position in the U.N. I can not make judgments about right and wrong, even for myself. That is your world though, don't try to apply it to me.

Perhaps I could have worded my comment better by saying that what Tera said is right for her but not for me. It is just my opinion.

Well get on with it. I am ready for the entire P clan to make harsh personal attacks on me.

melbelle1017 said...

For the record, I didn't ask why you feel the way you do because I already know!

On the other hand, I think you are comparing apples and oranges in your A+B+C=D analogy. There is a big difference between the how a man will react when you treat him a specific way and believing that marrying a worthy man is the answer to a happy marriage.

There is one point that Dr. Laura brings up that you have left out of your examples. The woman has all the power. That is the theme of the entire book, which is why the companion book is titled Woman Power.