Thursday, February 11, 2010

I try- i do

The hard thing about church social functions is that:

1. I rarely actually want to participate in the activity, due to disinterest in the subject matter or the fact that my social energy is quite low.

2. I make friends slowly.

3. I usually come away feel lonely and kind of isolated.

I already know how to make bread, pizza (which I don't even like eating), jam and many other canned goods. and if I DID want to learn I would rather share that experience by asking my mother or one of my current friends to teach me how. That way I would have a lovely memory, probably some laughs and I would be with someone I like, rather than someone I don't really know and have little in common with.

I have a total of 5 friends that are not related to me ( I classify a "friend" as someone I would call up to grab something to eat or see a movie with little notice). I have had these friends for a minimum of 11 years (except one). If I have free time I would rather spend it talking to or hanging out with them, instead of sitting in a room making akward conversation with someone who is just as disintersted by my input as I am of their's.

I feel kind of stupid and lame trying to relate to these women talking about their children by telling stories about my nieces or worse my pets. I KNOW parenting is different than being an aunt or pet owner, it's just that's all I have to bring to the conversation! The only kids I want to hear about being "so tender hearted" they have trouble playing competative sports are ones I'm related to (or close enough anyway).
I'm fine sitting and crocheting while people talk around me other than the self inflicted sense of being anti-social by not participating in the conversation.
I feel akward and YOUNG in these situations- feelings I don't particularly enjoy and don't see why I inflict them on myself in the name of social acceptance that I honestly am fine without. I just feel I SHOULD care- and it has been hinted that it might be bad for my character to "distance myself from society".

The truth is my hobbies are:
my nieces
crocheting (with re-purposed yarn)
archiving- this does not include boring geneology, I like living history, with stories to go with the photos, tapes and letters.

so apparently my futer BFF needs to be an old person who likes to run.


Matthew said...

Joining a rugby team:

+children are rare
+definitely involves running
+allow you to establish your own social distance

I tell you, have all your problems solved.

Plus, you need to get the hell out of Olympia. The only reason to live there is if you are afraid you would sparkle in the sun.

Bonnie said...

My best friend here in Boone is a single woman in her thirties. We go to ASU events, giggle at goofiness at church, catch lunch occasionally and oh yeah, do our visiting teaching. Truthfully though, she has all the same complaints that you do and she has often expressed her general loneliness. She also has the advantage of being able to drive home on weekends as needed. :)